In our society, we’re often told that we’re not enough. Not pretty enough, not strong enough, not good enough at a profession, even not enough of a mother (fathers too). Who really gets to decide all of this and who is setting the bar that we are all supposed to reach? I, along with everyone I know, falls victim to these self-worth destroying ideologies.
I have always been my own worst critic. Honestly, I think most people are. Even in my most confident, I will conquer the world eras, doubt always lingered in the corners. I really need no extra voices telling me of my inadequacies, whether they be true or not. Now, I’m not against constructive criticism at all, and I welcome and value honest feedback from those people that I seek advice from. That is not what this is about.
Alright, back on track…. Raising 2 strong-willed boys has me ALWAYS questioning and wondering if I am enough as a mom. I know in my heart of hearts that I’m not alone. All moms endure this. When I typically feel very isolated is when I’m having those moments on a day or week that I’m especially missing Wyatt. I carry less guilt around most days about Wyatt now, but when I feel like I just can’t get it right with his brothers, that piercing notion of failing him creeps back in to my mind. It is the darkest corner of doubt I experience, because it involves all 3 of my children. Luckily those valley moments never last too terribly long.
Here’s the thing about valleys of doubt though, there’s always a path out. You will encounter some vines and roots that you’ll trip on. You may get tangled in the brush. The sun isn’t always shining; but as long as you know in your heart of hearts and within your soul that there is something surprisingly wonderful to walk towards, you’ll make it out of that valley. You will probably get lost and find yourself back in it with the old way out blocked, but because your heart is stronger than you know, you’ll adjust just fine. With Love-Heather