I love you THIS much

Before having children, you hear people talk about how a mother’s and father’s capacity to love grows with each child and that no little one is shorted love even if they’re #5. That’s one of those things you truly can’t fully comprehend until it’s you. Granted, I don’t have 5 children but the premise, I get.

The other morning while driving the kids to school, my oldest mentioned how it saddened him when I cuddled with his little brother. I already suspected jealousy. It was only logical but sad, I wasn’t expecting. We talked about how no matter what I’m doing or whomever may be in my lap snuggling with me, I still love him just the same. He agreed that his little brother probably didn’t like it when big brother was cuddling with mommy as well.

I then mentioned Wyatt in the conversation. I reminded him that mommy doesn’t get to hold Wyatt and she still loves him just as much as his brothers. Holding one of them doesn’t take away from the other. I reassured him that if he felt sad whenever I was cuddling brother, he could come tell me and I would remind him of how much I love him, NO MATTER WHAT.

The truth of the matter is that when I hold either boy, I squeeze a little tighter and give that one extra kiss on the head for their brother Wyatt. Occasionally, while I’m holding them, they give me this look that is so different from any look they typically give, and they both give plenty of looks. For that moment, it is as if Wyatt climbed up on the couch or chair and nuzzled into my arms just so I could glance at him and know he’s in the mix of the boy chaos in our home.

We ended the conversation about 15 minutes after it had started with B saying “Mom, it’s just like you say.”

“What’s that? What do I always say?”

“You love us THIS much!” (with arms and fingers stretched as far as they can reach)

“You’re right, but remember it’s even more than that!”

With Love- Heather

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