I love this time of year, even through all of the pain I may feel. It give us all an excuse to stop being so serious all of the time and just enjoy silly like songs about a snowman with a magical hat and getting excited about lights, which is something we see and use everyday!
It is the time when we are reminded of how innocent we were and how that simplicity brought so much joy. This joy is pure! This joy is sincere! As I decorate the house and do holiday festivities, I will wish and yearn for that 3rd little boy to be there, but despite all of my prayers and dreams, he won’t. He won’t, but his presence will. He is part of every nativity scene that Barrett mistakenly calls Jesus “Wyatt” and every Christmas card I mail out. His stocking is hung and his ornaments are proudly displayed on the tree.
Christmas is a time that I especially miss Wyatt, but if I can work just a little harder to see Christmas like my oldest does and channel my inner child, I won’t miss him nearly as much. I’ll feel him with us. I’ll cherish every bulb on the tree and memorize every ornament. Making cookies won’t be about perfection but about the awesome fun of drawing with icing. Making crafts will not be hassle but be one more reason to use my fingers to paint and another opportunity to make a glue volcano.
Barrett doesn’t miss Wyatt quite like I do. 1. He isn’t his mother. 2. He knows that he isn’t far, just a conversation away. Through His eyes, I’ll see. Through His heart, I’ll feel. Through Him, I’ll love. That’s what Christmas is about, Jesus. With Love-Heather