Throughout this Lenten season, I have spent more time in purposeful meditation than usual.
Last Easter, I could barely handle what was going on in me. I began a new tradition in honor of Wyatt and I’m sure that I appeared that I was doing well. Inside I was a wreck! This year, I miss him terribly and have cried quite a bit. The slightest reminder seems to do me in.
During one of my prayer/reflection times, something interesting came to me. Lent and Easter season is a time that Christian focus on Jesus’ persecution and sacrifice for us. Every Sunday is about bettering ourselves through various means to be more like Christ. Catholics, and potentially other denominations, talk about what the Holy Family endured during this time. Mary watched her son’s pain and death and mourned outwardly. Joseph had to accept that he couldn’t “fix” this. It was going to happen. Isn’t that interesting? Those of us who have lost a baby or a child of any age, for that matter, experience this paradigm. One outwardly mourns with their heart on their sleeve while the other replays it to figure out what could have been “fixed” to avoid this pain. One hurt is no less than the other, just different.
Another thought came to me. I’ve heard the story of Easter ever since I could remember and even before, and everytime I hear it, no matter who tells it, it sounds the same. I wonder how Jesus tells it. If you’re Christian, you more than likely believe your baby is in heaven with Jesus. Isn’t this why Easter is such a BIG DEAL? He died for us and our sins so that we may eternal life with him. Wyatt never got to hear that story; he just got to go meet him. We know the stories of Jesus teaching the children when he was here on Earth. I imagine he stills teaches the little ones up there.
So as I go through another holiday buying one less coordinating outfit, setting one less place at the table,and preparing one less Easter basket, I’m trying to remember that although I can’t teach him about Easter, he knows all about it from Him. I guess if I can’t hold him and tell him about what Jesus did for us, Jesus telling his story would be the next best thing. -With love, Heather.