Catching My Breath

    Today has been a day! I knew that no pregnancy would ever be the same after losing Wyatt, but this one is doing me in for sure. This morning I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. At 1:45 am, I was having to wake up Nathen, because we needed to get to the emergency room. 
    This pregnancy has been completely different from my first two. With Barrett and Wyatt I was deathly ill for two months straight. I haven’t been sick at all with this one. Once my sickness ended, I could eat what I wanted with no problems, not this one. Mexican food and I don’t like each other right now. I didn’t have acne with the first two. I’m constantly breaking out like a preteen just entering puberty! I felt both Barrett and Wyatt move around 17 weeks along. I’m one day shy of 19 weeks and have yet to feel this one. I know every pregnancy is different, but after not bringing Wyatt home, these differences that would probably seem like something minor to others, sends out alarms in my head constantly! 
    Once we got to the emergency room, everyone I had to speak with about what was happening looked at me and treated me as if this abnormality happens all of the time and is completely normal. Maybe it is for other expecting moms, but bleeding during pregnancy has never been a norm for me and quite frankly, no one was convincing me that I was wrong. The ultrasound took 20 minutes. 20 minutes of painfully awkward, fearful silence as the tech barely moved the probe around and kept this bizarre look on her face. I guess it was her poker face. After leaving that area, we proceeded to wait an additional 35 minutes for the doctor to come back and talk with us. He said everything was fine but he really wasn’t sure what was happening with the whole bleeding thing. “Residency money well spent doc” was what I wanted to say, but I was good and kept my mouth shut. Pretty phenomenal for me, right? We went home and finally after calling several times to my doctor, I got in to a OB/GYN about what happened in hopes to get more answers. We actually got to the hear the heartbeat, and we actually got some answers. I am fine and so is our little one right now. 
   As Nathen and I were driving home, I guess I took one too many deep breaths or sighs for Nathen’s comfort level. When he asked “Heather, what’s wrong now?”, I simply told him that I was just catching my breath. I felt I had been holding it all day. I gather I’ll be doing a lot of that this pregnancy, forgetting to breathe when moments get especially rocky, and then stressing him out as I try to regain lung capacity.  
With Love- Heather

P.S.: The first genetic screenings came back normal! That was a whole week of really not breathing.

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