What’s in a name?

      I think we all have themes that run through our lives that we don’t even notice the significance. Numbers and dates have been my thing. 19 was a recurring number growing up. It is the date of anniversaries of very special people in my life; it is my birthday; it was the address of the house that I grew up in. 
      Names have never really been something I paid a whole lot of attention to, even as I named my two boys. This time around, it seems to matter to me though. I find myself only looking for names with particular meanings. I know, it seems a little early to be exploring names, especially since we don’t know the gender but picking out a boy name has always proven to be a challenge around this household, so I’m getting an early start. I don’t have that feeling that this one is a boy; I just know that it is my destiny to have a house of boys! As I’ve been exploring potential names for this little one, I decided to look up “Wyatt.” 
     “Wyatt” has several meanings: “wide, wood, guide, and brave in war.” Not all of those can relate to what has happened, but I found it interesting, nonetheless. We always hoped that Wyatt would help big brother stay out of trouble, maybe guide him in the better direction. The impact of losing him has reached out widely to those that we don’t even know. Each night, I pray that he was asleep when his heart stopped beating so that he didn’t have to be brave and suffer. Scott is his middle name. The idea behind that was to give my husband a break. He always wanted a child named after him, and I refuse. I don’t get it. I figured that he could share his middle name. The only other meaning for “Scott” besides someone who originates from Scotland, is wanderer. I guess our Wyatt Scott was meant to wander the heavens. 
     So what is really in a name? They say that when parents choose their children’s names, they should choose wisely. I do believe it. Our oldest is Barrett Cannon, and boy is he explosive! Nothing brings that kid down. Our hands will be full forever because of him. Little did I know that a Barrett was a type of cannon when I chose Cannon as his middle name; remember, I didn’t pay attention to meanings of names. 
     This little one that I’m carrying now doesn’t have a job or a role to bring us peace or hope or redemption, but I know he or she will. I know that with every kick or punch or roll, I’ll smile for him or her but also sigh for Wyatt. With the same tears, I’ll cry because of the happiness this little one brings but also sadness because I still want my Wyatt here. 

***Sidenote: All of this research made me curious about my own name. “Heather” is “a flowering plant that thrives in the barren desert.” I guess that should give me hope to know that no matter what, I’ll make it through. I bet my mom didn’t know that when she named me after that soap opera star! 

With Love- Heather 

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